in one room...
Grateful for the care
but wanting for some sun and air.
With sunlit leaves, the tree outside beconds an escape
pleading with me to lite my mind
upon its branches--
to breathe in,
[poetry form: Fibonacci - written at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania 5/16/17]
On May 7, 2017 my significant other of over 18 years received a life saving liver transplant by the grace of all that is divine and the unmeasureable generosity and kindness of a brilliant soul who has now passed from this life. Greg and I are both beyond grateful and cannot adequately express our thanks to Greg's donor, to his donor's family and friends, to the entire staff at the Hospital at the University of Pennsylvania, to all of his doctors and staff here in the Lehigh Valley (especially interventional radiology), and to all the family, friends, and complete strangers who have sent positivity and prayers for Greg and for me over these very difficult seven years. Please keep the light shining... I can attest that miracles happen regardless of what you believe or don't believe spiritually. Quite simply, during the eleven days I spent with Greg at HUP as he received and subsequently recovered from transplant surgery things happened that were too serendipitous, too strange in some ways, to simply dismiss as anything but inspired. Thank you.
Greg is recovering well and, although recovery isn't easy and there is still a long road ahead, he remains positive and grateful and steadfast in his assertion to make the most of this second chance at life.
As for me... as Greg's main caregiver, this life changing experience has been exhausing physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Without my own personal take on faith, I would not have managed to endure this far. In truth, I still struggle to keep my feet under me. My nerves are more than a little frayed and I am in serious need to smell the ocean air and feel the seaside sun on my skin (something I intend to make happen very soon). I have continued to write poetry throughout this "ordeal" and will be posting most of the poems as I make the time to do so. Some posts may seem a little dark but I hope by posting the truth of what I feel in any given situation will shed some light on what this existance looks like from behind my eyes and may resonate with others who are in the midst of their own afflictions. It is my path to help others. It is my mission to heal through poetry... myself... and my world.
Again, thank you.
With gratitude, love, and a hope for peace,
Stress, like dirt on a lens,
has my auto focus out of whack.
Gears grind back and forth
as thoughts flitter from work
to the grocery list to work
to wondering if I should get more coffee
to work to a new craft project
to work to remembering the car needs an oil change
to work to scheduling another doctor appointment
I sit spinning still
listening to the clicks and whirls
waiting for reality's ever-ready battery to run down.